After Action Report #48

[00:00:00] [SPEAKER_00] This episode is brought to you by VB Health, doctor-formulated supplements that work. To learn more about Load Boost, Drive Boost, and Soaking Wet, and to get 10% off, visit vb.health and use the code SAVAGE.

[00:00:20] [SPEAKER_01] You're listening to After Action Report at savage.org.

[00:00:25] [SPEAKER_00] After Action Report! Welcome to After Action Report, where my brave listeners share true life stories of new sexual experiences and sexual adventures. This week, meet Owen, who encountered a very special woman on a recent trip to the Netherlands. Owen, welcome to the show. Thank you for having me. Thank you for being had. So, before we get to what it is you did, tell us a little bit about yourself, Owen. Who are you?

[00:00:52] [SPEAKER_01] I am a film and television producer up in Canada, and I enjoy a lot of cycling, and I enjoy ice cream and being in the outdoors and hiking. So, those are my things.

[00:01:06] [SPEAKER_00] Canada is the place to do it. And can I say on behalf of every decent human being in America, we're really sorry about this motherfucker. My elbows up. Yeah. Lake Ontario. Yeah. Yeah. Tell me, and everybody else listening who is an American, is the right thing for us to do now to, like, plan a vacation in Canada, go up there and spend money in Canada? Like, how can we support Canada in this trade war?

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_01] Come on up. Initially, we'll have to, people will suss you out and see where you fall on the whole scale of things. If you're hopefully correct thinking, we'll be open arms and say, hey, thank you for coming. And isn't it weird what's happening with you guys? I'm so sorry that's happening. Come here. Don't think about it. Yeah.

[00:01:52] [SPEAKER_00] Okay. That's our plan right now. We're planning a winter vacation. And we are like, we are going to Whistler or we are going to Banff and we are going to spend money and buy Canadian.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_01] BC, Alberta, also the Laurentians north of Montreal. Very nice skiing there too.

[00:02:08] [SPEAKER_00] This is not what people expect us to talk about on After Action Report. So, Owen, you had a novel sexual experience, something new, and you wanted to decompress about it. I'm sorry. I just got derailed by the Canada thing. Oh, my God. Oh, no. I get it. So, what is it that you did? What is it that you tried? Tell us about the thing you wanted to tell us about.

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_01] Well, so, I went on vacation this year to Amsterdam and en Vierens. And I had a hotel room in the Red Light District just by chance. It was cheap and all that. So, I decided to explore the Red Light District. And I was walking around. I don't know if you've ever been there or for anyone who hasn't been there.

[00:02:52] [SPEAKER_01] It's basically these window doors where women are trying to get your attention. And then there are actually red lights around the doors. And they're either at street level or just below or just above. And they try to beckon you and all that. And I decided to try. I came across this statuesque blonde woman with magnificent, if I may say, breasts.

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_00] You may say breasts. You can say tits. Okay. You can say boobs. You can say whatever you want to say.

[00:03:21] [SPEAKER_01] But with tape over her nipples and, you know, the, you know, bustier, the whole thing. Look wonderful. She beckoned me in. We go inside, negotiate what we're into. She takes the tapes off her, has me lie down. I suck on her breasts. They're freaking fantastic. And, you know, being excited, I want to do more and more. That's more and more expensive. And eventually she ends up on all fours.

[00:03:50] [SPEAKER_01] And I'm behind her kissing and biting her ass a bit. Then I reach down to cup her. And it wasn't a pussy. It was a penis. And I was taken aback. That's not what I was expecting. I was expecting female parts. And I don't know if it was the heat of the moment or because I'm Canadian and I'm polite. I didn't, I didn't stop.

[00:04:19] [SPEAKER_01] I just kept going, you know, jacked her off a bit. She turned around. Again, it would be impolite. So I sucked her penis very badly because I have no experience in giving, only receiving. I believe she mentioned something about teeth. And I sort of came right there in my underwear. I wasn't even out of my underwear. And for them, that means it's over. Emission accomplished.

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_01] Emission accomplished, exactly. And I fessed up. I said, I wasn't expecting that. I really thought you were a woman. And she went, oh, really? I thought it was obvious. And for me, it's not obvious. I've never been able to identify an apple. And I'm zapple. And she looked great, but wasn't, well, was a woman, but didn't have all the body parts. So, yeah.

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_00] So after, like you've never had a penis in your mouth, a man's penis or a woman's penis until that moment. It obviously, you were excited. This walk on the wild side, you were excited by it. You came in your pants. Post-Nut Clarity, that moment where you were like, you'd stepped through the airlock. Before this experience, you were a straight man who never had a dick in your mouth.

[00:05:38] [SPEAKER_00] And after, you were a straight man who not only had a dick in your mouth, but climaxed with or immediately after having a dick in your mouth. Did you feel differently about yourself? Were you stressed out?

[00:05:50] [SPEAKER_01] So I was, I was, I was shook. I was shaken for about three days. And the orgasm, I have to say, was sort of like a, you know, it wasn't like a, yay. It was more like it happened, like almost a night emission. But yes, for three days, while I'm on vacation, I'm like fretting over it. And I'm going, what does this mean? Oh my goodness, what am I doing? And I did the very British Isles thing of just stamping it down for three, after three days.

[00:06:18] [SPEAKER_01] And said, I'll figure it out when I get home. And when I got home and I talked to a good friend of mine about it. And I think the thing that shook me was I'd always considered myself heterosexual. I had gay friends who say, oh my goodness, you're straight as an arrow. It's crazy. But now I have proof otherwise.

[00:06:37] [SPEAKER_00] Well, you're a straight man who had sex with a woman, a trans woman. There are people out there who are rising right now to jump into the comments thread and say, you had a heterosexual experience, but with a trans woman who still had her penis, who opted not, as most trans women opt not to, not to have bottom surgery.

[00:06:59] [SPEAKER_00] I think you're allowed to like, I think the people who talk about dysphoria are, you're allowed to experience a little bit of like sexual orientation dysphoria. Exactly. When you interact with the primary sex characteristic of your own sex, just on the body of somebody of the opposite sex. Like, I think you're allowed to have a moment.

[00:07:21] [SPEAKER_01] Well, I know how when people introduce themselves on Savage Lovecast, they basically say, I'm cisgendered, I'm heterosexual, blah, blah, blah. And now I'm thinking if I ever call in with a question, am I going to have to say heteroflexible? I guess.

[00:07:40] [SPEAKER_00] I don't know. Very situationally, very situationally heteroflexible. Heteroflexible, maybe in the clutch where like your Canadian devotion to politeness and not making anybody else feel uncomfortable prevented you from pulling the ripcord and bailing because you didn't want to make her feel like she'd done something wrong or bad. So you just literally plowed ahead. And so maybe you're a heterosexual, but like you're the most polite heterosexual.

[00:08:09] [SPEAKER_00] You're so polite, a heterosexual, that you had this experience and followed through with it so as not to make the nice sex worker lady feel uncomfortable. Right. Yeah, that would be impolite. You know, when it comes to sexual orientation, I think there's always like some rounding up around the edges. Like 99.99999% of your sexual experiences and sexual interests and desires and attractions are straight, are opposite sex.

[00:08:37] [SPEAKER_00] And then there was this moment where because the circumstance, you know, I just think of the like straight guys who have a MMF threesome. Yes. Who then, because they're aroused and they're in the moment and it's turning the woman on, might suck a dick for a minute. Does that mean they're not straight or were they so straight they sucked a dick for a moment because it was turning that woman on? Right.

[00:09:03] [SPEAKER_00] And you could make the same argument about you in that moment that you put a dick in your mouth, that you were turning a woman on when you did that. And isn't that what your sexuality has always been kind of focused on?

[00:09:13] [SPEAKER_01] Yes. I mean, it's only, I mean, yes, the pleasure of someone else also gives pleasure, right? And I always knew that if I were in an MMF situation, I wouldn't be embarrassed. Oh, there's another penis. I'd be going, hey, aren't we having fun? High five. Eiffel Tower.

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_00] Both.

[00:09:29] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah, Eiffel Tower. And then I would not be uncomfortable with that. And I don't know, maybe jack them off because for it's, but you know, oral sex is much more, if you'll excuse the expression, in your face.

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_00] And yes, in your tonsils, under your soft palate, right there on your soft palate. Yeah, it's literally in your fucking skull.

[00:09:51] [SPEAKER_01] And for women out there and men who do the same, kudos to you too for doing blowjobs so well, because boy, I didn't know what I was doing.

[00:10:02] [SPEAKER_00] Will you ever do it again? Or was this a one-off and like, you blundered into this moment and then you were a good giving and game client and sex partner. Is this something that you would seek out again? Or was this like fun and done?

[00:10:19] [SPEAKER_01] Done. I don't think I'd do it again. And in fact, in the future, it'll be caveat emptor.

[00:10:25] [SPEAKER_00] Buyer beware. Or to borrow a Reaganism to reach all the way back to the 80s, a trust but verify. Now you know if you're in Amsterdam that the nice woman in the window might be a cis woman, but a lot of them are trans women. There are a lot of trans women who do sex work. And so maybe it is like on you or on the client, Kavan Umter, to trust but verify. Trust the sex worker.

[00:10:52] [SPEAKER_00] But if you really don't want to have a sexual experience with somebody who was assigned male at birth and may still have genitalia associated with men, you might want to like ask.

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_01] Also a hint to travelers there. The red light district is not a misnomer. They actually have red neon lights around the thing. And apparently trans women have blue or purple lights around them, which I wasn't paying attention. I just thought it was festive. Wow, it's a real tricky situation for the colorblind. And I am a little bit.

[00:11:27] [SPEAKER_00] Well, it doesn't sound like you're conflicted or freaked out about having done it. You lived a little.

[00:11:34] [SPEAKER_01] Yeah. No, like I said, I'm comfortable with my sexuality. And I think I know myself well enough that I'm heterosexual who happen to have different experiences.

[00:11:48] [SPEAKER_00] You know, right there with you. I am a homosexual. A thousand percent homosexual. I had some girlfriends. I had sex with women. And I'm not like on the rack about it. I don't have a meltdown about it every day. But I also don't live in a world where people, we do live in a world where when it comes to male heterosexuality, straight guys are always trying to, straight guys are policing male heterosexuality.

[00:12:14] [SPEAKER_00] Like you can have yours taken from you in a way that no one ever tries to take my homosexuality away from me. If I tell people, you know, when I was 16, I was having sex with my girlfriend. Nobody says, oh, you can't be gay. But if you tell people about this experience, you will have people throughout life say, well, you're not straight. You couldn't have done that if you were straight. I think you can do that if you're straight. I think you are straight. Just like I am gay. Even though I had sex with a girl, a few girls, doesn't mean I'm not 100% baggy.

[00:12:43] [SPEAKER_00] And just because you had this one experience where you connected really at a human level with somebody that made the genitalia in that moment irrelevant to the human connection, you are 100% a breeder. You are 100% a straight dude.

[00:12:57] [SPEAKER_01] I mean, it wouldn't affect me overall. I mean, there was the three nights of darkness of me trying to figure out where I was. But after that, that's what I came to the conclusion to as well. It's like, eh. And it happened. And this is an experience that is part of who I am now. And that's okay.

[00:13:16] [SPEAKER_00] Owen, that was such a great story. I'm really, like, I kind of want to say I'm glad this happened for you. I mean, in an ideal world, this wouldn't have happened. You wouldn't have had those three dark nights of the soul afterwards. But what a great story. And, like, what it says about you as a human being is really commendable. And thank you for sharing it with my listeners. Well, thank you for saying that. I'm touched. Thank you. Thanks, Owen. You are a gem and a gentleman. So much grace, consideration, and compassion.

[00:13:46] [SPEAKER_00] Is this what all Canadians are like? If so, I am moving to Canada. If you have a surprise to share, a new sexual experience, a sexual experience that took you someplace you never expected to go, email it to me, short write-up, to Q at savage.love. And you could be my next guest on After Action Report. After Action Report. This episode of the Savage Lovecast is brought to you by Load Boost by VB Health.

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